Last night I DJ’d a wedding dance for the first time in over a month, and damn did we ever have the dance floor hopping! As it turned out, the bride works at my dentist’s office as a hygienist, and it’s quite possible she had cleaned my teeth before. I would never have known this except I noticed Dr. Dodds, DDS and struck up a conversation with him. I introduced myself as Ryan Glanzer, his best patient. They had a pretty good crowd and even at midnight many of the old-timers were still getting jiggy wit it. But around 12:30 everyone hit a wall and the dance quickly died. It really was an excellent dance and I imagine I’ll run into the bride again at my next check-up!

Lauren has been gone to Lacrosse for the weekend with her family for Grandma Joyce’s birthday celebration. With my DJ duties, I was forced to stay behind, but a little alone time has been refreshing. I did the dishes and some laundry, ran around Lake of the Isles, and today am relaxing in front of the TV with some of Lauren’s rose flavored ice cream watching the Twins dominate the Orioles.

Now I will answer the questions asked to me by Eric G., who I assume is former Valleyfair co-worker Eric Giesen.

Name the best baseball player who’s first name starts with a Z?

I will say former Pirate pitcher Zane Smith, who had some excellent seasons in the early 90s. But let’s not discount former Twin Zoilo Versalles, winner of the 1965 AL MVP award.

Who would you rather punch, Cal Ripken or Betty White?

I would rather punch Cal Ripken, because he would probably punch me back and I would feel better about myself if the victim could support themselves.

Legalize steroids in baseball or have 4 starting women in your lineup at all times?

I suppose we could go back to legalizing steroids. I’ve always been more of a fan of the offensive part of the game and seeing a few runs cross the plate.

What would you rather have removed from TV, NBA games or Fox entertainment?

Fox? I think they have some good stuff occasionally. House is currently a favorite. NBA I could do without on TV… I rarely watch basketball on TV aside from the last half of the fourth quarter of Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Until the Wolves are competitive again I doubt I’ll watch much NBA.

Whats your thoughts on Jenny Finch retiring from softball?

It’s a shame. She is the only recognizable name in softball today.

Does the lesbian teen actually deserve $35,000 for the cancelled prom?

I didn’t hear about this, but if they canceled a prom because a teen was a lesbian then the money should be split up between everyone who was denied their magical night of prom.

5 reasons why soccer is not a real sport?

A few months ago I would have joined in the ridicule of soccer, but being around so many huge World Cup fans made me appreciate the game a little more. But I suppose if people got really involved in a World Cup of Darts I would probably feel the same way.

Why do individuals try to sell the Twins world series Wheaties boxes as collectibles when 6 out of every 10 people still have them?

A co-worker once gave me a 1987 Twins Wheaties box and I thought it was a nice gesture. But then I looked on ebay and they were selling for 99 cents in mint condition and I threw it away.

Are collectible display cases called collectible display cases if you have nothing collectible inside?

If you have something inside it, then you have at some point along the line collected it and it is still valid.

Any truth to the rumor Ozzy Osbourne is really a secret Russian spy?

I can’t talk about that at this time.

Is Jamie Foxx one of the most overrated actors of all time?

Is he overrated? He was nominated for an Oscar which is a pretty big deal.

No fingers for life or Listerine mint mouth strips as eye contacts every morning for 12 years until the strips dissolve?

Hmm… once the fingers are cut off, that’s it. But who is going to stand there and monitor me putting these Listerine strips in my eyes? If I chose the Listerine strips, I guarantee whoever was monitoring it would lose interest within a few months and I would probably not go blind.

Any thoughts on a 1986 Dodge Omni GLH?

It sounds really nice.

Do you feel comfortable accepting directions from a gps who can’t remember his first name from his last name so they called him Tom Tom?

No that’s why I chose Garmin Nuvi.


And now for some questions from Jay Cone.

I want to hear about what you think about mel gibson — is he crazy?

I’ve heard some snippets of his phone call on the radio and I think it’s true that he’s probably gone crazy at this point. The things he is saying aren’t things that normal people say.

I want to know what you think about playboy’s safe to read at work site? Will you use it at work?

If it’s safe for work then it’s probably not worth looking at. I’d be more inclined to look at something NSFW, as they say.