Pretty sure I saw a snowflake today on my way home from the gym. But I am not here to write and complain about the unseasonably cold May weather, even though I know Luke Katuin finds it very amusing to read my rants on weather, something beyond anyone’s control.

The Twins just lost their seventh in a row and fell even further into the basement as the worst team in the league at 12-25, a mark so futile it conjures up memories of our local basketball team from a couple months ago… or our local football team from last season. And almost our local hockey team. Or WNBA team. Or college sports teams. Or most any amateur team I’ve been involved in since college.

Surprisingly, as long as I don’t watch the games on TV, I don’t really care too much and can laugh it off. It’s comical because the Twins aren’t just having a poor start to the season; at this point, they are historically bad, as in one of the worst baseball teams ever assembled, having been outscored by more than 80 runs already. I know, the 1988 Orioles started out 0-21, so it actually could be worse, but it sure doesn’t seem like it.

Nick Sandbulte has concocted his Curse of the Spruce Tree theory after the team removed the trees from behind the outfield fence after players complained in the offseason. For a team to totally collapse on so many levels out of nowhere can only be explained by some sort of curse or something supernatural. I mean they are worst in everything and by a very wide margin. Hitting. Pitching. Fielding. Run differential. Wins and losses. The star players have gone on the DL one after another, weather hasn’t cooperated, the sellout streak snapped, their legendary players are dying. Very sad news about Harmon Killebrew, by the way. I buy into Nick’s curse theory, but it seems like if there’s a curse, it’s something affecting all of our local teams, not just the Twins. Any other theories?

Seeing the Twins fail on such an epic level might really be a good thing for me in the long run. I have already given up on watching them on TV for the most part, which means with no new shows in the summer we could actually cancel our cable and save like $100 a month! Their failure would also keep me away from Target Field, saving countless dollars. Plus, if I’m not following them, I could go back to having a life in the summer. Really, their pitiful display this year might be a good thing for me on emotional, physical, and financial levels. If they turn it around and get back in the race, I’m all for it, but if they don’t, I may not be as devastated as one would expect.

Liriano’s no-hitter was a thrill, and once Thome returns to the team and closes in on 600 career home runs, that will be exciting. But beyond that, I think I could actually pry myself away from watching the team this summer and enjoy other aspects of life. I could focus on other important things… like my career, future place of residence, etc. That’s a whole different story, but I will say that I don’t see myself remaining the Marketing Assistant at an optical media company into my thirties.

On that note, I’ll go back to DJing this wondrous Saturday night wedding dance… my FINAL Saturday night wedding dance, and third-to-last overall. I decided to give up the DJ biz, at least for a while anyway.