Saturday was the big Central Texas Warrior Dash, the event I signed up for on a whim with several co-workers a few months ago. I am not exactly on a health kick or anything, but there is such an influx of healthiness at our office lately that I got swept up in the craze and decided to try holding my own. For those unfamiliar, the Warrior Dash is a 5K run through the wilderness with a number of obstacles mixed in. They do these events all across the country… I’m sure some friends did the Minnesota one this year.
It started out being about 20 co-workers showing interest, and then about half opted out in the weeks leading up to the event, most of them choosing the Longhorns game instead. The day before, we expected 10, but on race day just five of us showed up.
The running part was actually the hardest because of the hilly terrain, and the obstacles were sometimes a good chance to take a breather. However, there were some doozies among the obstacles, including a swimming hole where we had to push ourselves out of the water over barricades. After that there was a big rope net probably 25-30 feet in the air we had to climb up, then down the other side… with soaking wet shoes it was scary and difficult to find the footing to make it over. The fun part of course was the very end with the giant mud pit.
The five of us from Callaway stayed together for the first half of the race, then we fell apart a bit. I was suffering from a nasty side-ache and had to walk for a while. Ending the race caked head-to-toe in mud, we all got sprayed off by some old guy in a water truck who warned us to “get the fuck back, this shit’ll take yer eyes out!”
Here are the final results, showing I finished 1,564th overall out of 5,014 participants, putting me in the 69th percentile. Considering I was considering survival alone a victory, I will gladly take that finish. Would I do it again next year? Yes, probably… I was very worried going in, but it wound up being fairly fun and I felt good about myself doing something active.
Ryan Glanzer Blog 
The best part was the old man with the hose…I’m still laughing about that! Good job, by the way.
Well, the next time you come home you should be in good shape to help work cattle, then. You could climb over the fences real fast when a cow comes after you, you could even fall down in the mud and cow shit and just keep right on going.