Where Is Sophie And What Have You Done To Her?

sophieToday I unfortunately bring you the sad and despicable news of what some neighborhood elementary children may or may not have done. Note: We live right around the corner from an elementary school, so kids up to 11 years old pass by frequently in the mornings and afternoons.

One of Johnny’s favorite baby toys is Sophie the giraffe, the timeless squeaky teething toy beloved by babies for generations. One day Sophie went missing. We suspected it had been left in a restaurant, but thought little else of it.

A couple weeks later, I was taking Baxter out to get the mail and found this vulgar note on our property.



Pitiful grammar and penmanship aside, the note was alarming to discover! Some pre-pubescent little jokester wrote this on the back of a school assignment that had the name Sinjith written on the front. Now, I don’t know if this is Sinjith’s handiwork or one of his schoolmates is to blame, but it seems to me someone found Sophie near our house, took her, and did something to her. And then left us this note.

If that’s true, I ought to march over to Jollyville Elementary and have a word with the principal.

Lauren, however, believes it to be unrelated to our missing Sophie toy, and is instead referring to a girl named Sophie… nowadays a rather common name.

All I know is two things: Sophie is missing, and someone has left a note in our yard about defiling someone named Sophie.

What do you think?


  1. I am appalled that some jerk wrote this note! Was it left at your doorstep, or just blowing around in the yard? I think I’d go to the school, too, and let the principal know what little Sinjith is up to. A bar of soap is what that kid needs, crammed down his throat. I will get Johnny a new Sophie, don’t you worry, Grandma to the rescue!

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