100 Random Memories from Four-Plus Years at DSU
100-91: Freshman Year

1. Robbin Schincke Goes Off: Robbin Schincke was an interesting professor from my first year of college. She was difficult to figure out. She’s be joking around in class, tossing around profanities as we studied Visual Design I back in the fall of 2001. Then, suddenly, someone would do something and get kicked out of class. Justin Bjorns was resting his head on the desk in class. He wasn’t sleeping or anything. Schincke stopped what she was doing and told him to leave class. Mind you, there were like forty of us in this class, and it got deadly silent. And then she turned to the rest of us and gave us an even-more-stearn warning. “If anyone else falls asleep in my classroom this semester, you will be asked to drop the class and re-take it next fall.” One day I forgot my textbook, and I was called on to read aloud. Thankfully, she didn’t kick me out. She made me read from someone else’s book and gave the whole class a good lecture on always being prepared for class. Then, five minutes later she’d make a crude sexual joke. She was fired after that first year for allegedly slamming a door on a pregnant girl. Just a rumor, I’ve heard.

2. Rescuing Chris: Freshman year, Chris Ahrendt and I became friends pretty much the very first day of class as we were the only two freshmen in Acting with Sue Conover. Chris was living in Higbie Hall with Nathan Swanson, the disgusting Lake Preston grad who stayed up all night singing along to Britney Spears. He refused to shower, and during his first year at college, he not only gained the “freshman fifteen,” but he gained a whopping 110 pounds. Chris was desperate to leave Higbie, no matter what the consequences. I hated seeing Chris so depressed all the time, so I informed him that my next-door neighbor in the dorms, Scott Headrick, was without a roommate after Hawaiian football star Nalo Cabuyaban was kicked off the floor for his maniacal never-ending middle-of-the-night phone calls to “Mama,” his girlfriend back home. So Chris moved in with Scott, despite it being against college policies to relocate dorm rooms mid-semester.

3. The Happy Birthday Messages: Chris and I spent a ridiculous number of hours freshman and sophomore years making prank calls to anyone and everyone we could think of. The classic “Happy Birthday Greeting” was the best. One day, Raelene Bucholz, who at the time dated Sheldon Rahn, a guy on our floor, announced she was baking a cake to take home to her father on his birthday. Knowing that my grandparents in Doland were neighbors of the Bucholz family, we thought it would be a funny prank to call Raelene’s dad and leave one of our patented birthday greetings, where, in a recorded-style voice we would tell the person, “Hello, you have received an automated birthday greeting from…” At this point, in a different voice, we’d plug in someone’s name. So to customize this greeting specifically for Raelene’s dad, we looked in the phone book and found out their next-door neighbors were Alex and Kathy Smith, so those were the names we used. “To hear your birthday greeting, press 1 now!” The person would press 1, at which point, Chris and I would go crazy bellering the Happy Birthday Song at the top of our lungs, totally off-key. “To hear your birthday greeting again, press 1 now!” By this point, whoever we were calling was so confused, they’d tell their family to gather round the phone, and they’d press 1 to hear it again. Holding back laughter, Chris and I would again beller the song. Finally, we’d end with the recorded-voice again. “Thank you for choosing automatedbirthdaygreetings.com! Your credit card will be billed… twenty… nine… dollars… and… fifty… six… cents. Thank you, and have a happy birthday!” People, after hearing the billing statement, would try to call us back, to which we would answer, “Thank you for calling automatedbirthdaygreetings.com! We’re sorry, but all of our representatives are currently busy…” Apparently, Raelene’s dad was even more bewildered by the call because Alex and Kathy Smith were never even friends of his, and they had moved away over a year ago.

4. KJAM Firing: When I first got to DSU, I figured I’d better get a little part-time job. Having worked at KOKK in Huron for two years, I checked out KJAM in hopes of landing a job as a DJ. Only problem was, I refused to work once I was hired. Every time they called and asked me to work, I really was busy. There was never a schedule. It was always just a call the morning they wanted me to work. Over six months, I worked four times total. Finally, one Sunday morning I really was scheduled to open the shift at 5am. I got up early and went down to the station, only to see someone else in the booth. “What’s going on?” I asked. “You’re an hour late! I got called in!” the guy yelled. It was daylight savings day, and I had no idea. Here I thought I was early. The next day, the boss called me back to his office. I had Chris come back to the office with me. He told me I was being let go temporarily because of my poor availability, but I could talk to him in the fall and work there again. I never went back to that crappy station. They actually had their FM studio in an old bank vault, and if the door closed with you inside, you were stuck and would have to announce over the radio you needed to be let out.

5. Sheldon’s Art Project: Sheldon Rahn was an elementary ed major on our floor, and two years ahead of me. He was known for his love of kids and from what I hear, was pretty good with them at his after-school program at the Community Center. But poor Sheldon had a rough time with his El-Ed art class. One night out in the lobby, he was putting together his latest project. It was a sheet of construction paper, with strips of another color of paper running diagonally across. Then, the students’ names were to be cut out in paper and placed over the top of the strips. Sheldon, however, cut out his name and glued it down on the paper, then tried cutting out diagonal strips to go around the letters. It looked disgraceful. People were walking through the lobby and looking at his art project like he was crazy. I finally had the heart to tell him he could have done it much easier. “Oh, yeah, I see where you’re coming from,” Sheldon said as he started over.

6. Coaster Bowling: It was a Friday night in the dead of winter freshman year on fourth floor Richardson, and what better way to spend the time than coaster bowling? While other dorms were cleared out, pretty much everyone from our floor stuck around. People lined the halls to watch as an obstacle course was built. Then, Jordon Hofer constructed “coasters” by gluing old CDs together into a wheel. The coasters were then rolled down the hallway, flying over ramps, through boxes dangling from the ceiling, and into a padded cushion at the end of the hall. It sounds so lame, but somehow thirty of us were highly entertained.

7. Deer Resuscitation: I was driving the Glanzer minivan to Flandreau one night as eight of us from fourth floor decided to take in the popular seafood buffet at the casino. Mark Theisen, Jordon Hofer, Ryan Walker, Nicky Volin, Aaron Rush, Scott Headrick, and others were all meeting for a Sunday night of good eating. On the way, however, I hit a baby deer going about 35 mph as I neared Colman. The deer flew in the ditch, where it laid there twitching. Leave it to Mark Theisen to freak out and try to save the deer, whose back was probably shattered. Mark leaped out of the van, ran down into the ditch, and placed his mouth around the deer’s snout, trying to get it breathing. Another car pulled up behind us and told Mark to leave it the hell alone so it could die.

8. Countryside Racing: Also freshman year, a Saturday ritual for some of the guys on the floor was to go out five miles into the country near Rutland, and race cars up and down the barren paved road. I was talked into going out there one day and filming the events, but I refused to race my car. Sheldon Schwab and Josh Schuh raced, as I waited at the finish line, doing play-by-play. Everyone wanted me to race my car, but I flat-out didn’t trust myself. Plus, what if a deer ran up onto the road, or a cop drove by? These guys were going like 100mph, driving in the wrong lanes. I do remember one time when I was there at the finish line, when I saw a car coming from the other direction. I quick got on my cell phone and called one of the guys driving and told him to get the hell off the road. Those crazy bastards.

9. The 216 Game: Bowling was a favorite pasttime in the dorm days. Every Wednesday night, we’d get like twenty guys from the floor and go down for Quarter Mania, where we could bowl like six game for six bucks or something. I was pretty good at bowling back then. Every so often I’d finish with a 170 or 180. But one magical night in March 2002, Scott Headrick, Nick Sandbulte, and I went down to the bowling alley on a Monday night. We were the only ones there. I was doing okay the first couple games, but it was the third game of the night that would be my greatest score ever. Somehow I had a perfect game through five frames. Unfortunately, that was broken up. But I did crack the 200 barrier for the first and only time in my life as I ended with a 216. No one was there to see it, and the bowling alley printer was broken. So Nick and Scott to this day are my only witnesses to that feat.

10. The Brief Annette Nystrom Fling: That first semester at DSU back in 2001 was highlighted by an old acquaintance from the high school days. Annette Nystrom, who I knew from All-State Chorus, was good friends with Sarah Linneman, who I knew from DSU’s band. Annette would come up pretty much every weekend and stay with Sarah, and Mark Theisen and I would usually go hang out with them. Well, one thing led to another, and soon Annette and I were calling each other during the week, and I would make the occasional trip up to Watertown to see her. While nothing was ever made official, we were sorta seeing each other for two or three months that fall. But then things kinda fizzled as we struggled to keep in contact, especially over Christmas break, and nothing ever became of that. Then Annette went over to Iraq for a year or so.

Next time we’ll take a look at ten more memories from that freshman year of 01-02!

Ryan